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I can’t afford my wife

I knew she valuable and, I love her dearly, but this is just out of budget!

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A full-time stay-at-home mother would earn $134,121 a year if paid for all her work, an amount similar to a top U.S. ad executive, a marketing director or a judge, according to a study released Wednesday.

Now, conceivably you would think we could save money by having her work outside the home but noooooo!

A mother who works outside the home would earn an extra $85,876 annually on top of her actual wages for the work she does at home, according to the study by Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts Salary.com.

Mom’s can go to this website to calculate their pay and get a paycheck printed. I wonder if I can get a $134,121 tax deduction?

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Amidst Celebrity!

I have been in the same room as Glen Reynolds and met Michael Silence (multiple times).

Last night to help the children get their minds off Lucy, we met a visiting uncle and the grandparents at our favorite family restaurant, IHOP. Uncle Stinky had purchased Narnia for the children without knowing they already had it so we all headed to Best Buy for an exchange to Fraggle Rock and to give the boys a chance to use the DS Download Station. Our troops march in and immediate disperse! After making sure that the boys understood the Download Station, I headed off to find out Best Buy does not sell filters for the Roomba (time to order from iRobot). Upon returning to report into my wife, I find that Lissa Kay has identified us! She said she recognized Tommy first but her suspicions were confirmed by our numbers!

Lissa Kay of Oh…really? is wonderfully pleasant. I could have spent the rest of evening chatting with her. Of course there was the trepidation caused by timidity of being amid celebrity. And the hesitation in conversation trying to avoid redundancy.

Me: And then…
Her: Read it.
Me: The cutest thing…
Her: Commented on it.
Me: Did you hear?
Her: Hey! You got that from my blog!

Of course, that was the conversation in my head; not the real one! I hope to bump into more bloggers. It is quite a thrill!

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Lucy has passed on

At roughly 11am yesterday, Lucy peacefully drew her last breath. The family grieves her loss as she has been with the children most of their lives. We have never viewed our animals as simply pets; they are family members. Molly, the dog, and Two Paws, the cat, seem sullen. Lucy shared many great times with us. She will be remembered well.

I want to thank everyone for your supportive comments (and here) on the blogs and in person!

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All things come to an end

Our Lucy

Our older dog, a golden mix, is wasting. I think she has decided she is at the end of her days. She has not eatten or drank for 3 days. She would not even take a hotdog or hamburger from me tonight.

She is a great dog! I do not want to lose her. I want to take responsibility and blame myself thinking that I could have done better for her somehow. She sits in the yard right now and is refusing to come in yet as I speak to her and pet her she holds her head high and wags her tail like a puppy. I will not force her in quite yet but will check back on her in a bit and give a more forceful encouragement. Perhaps outside is better right now as she is not holding her stomach, bowels or bladder well. All this developed rapidly.

How am I to prepare the children? Will this totally disrupt Tommy‘s final weeks at school? Do we spend money trying to buy Lucy some time or assume she is in pain and put her down? What does Lucy want? There should be more time.

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Project Done!

Most of the time I try to avoid talking about my work. Often it just is not appropriate. However, many people have no idea what I do. I find solutions to computer problems with a focus on web application development and database design; usually my work is in content management, inventory control, and e-commerce/point of sales. I have bid projects on automation of assembly lines, and done work as diverse as writing C++ programs with the aid of Russian programmers (that app had many millions of downloads btw). I sometimes get hands on and build computers or troubleshoot and repair systems. Often, I find some of my solutions to problems both fun and really cool.

I just completed two fun projects that each tormented me with overruns on deadlines due to technical hurdles. The latter was simply a statistical report of some tracked performance on a website. The challenge in organizing and categorizing the data came down to database design choices previously made by the client including housing some of the data in a MS SQL database and some of the data in a MS Access database. A requirement was speed so the choice was made to place as much onus on the MS SQL database for preparing the data. Unfortunately, this came down only to using some aggregate functions to get the totals and unioning a couple of tables. I did have the pleasure of writing a neat little UDF to convert a list into some table results. Because of the way the aggregate functions had to be written, the data came out neither grouped appropriately and with some unavoidably duplicate data.

Fortunately, ColdFusion now has the ability to perform queries on queries including the joining of data across different datasources. So now that I had data appropriately summed albeit out of order and with some duplicates (as stated previously), I could write a query to pull the labels from the MS Access database. All labels and details were in Access; all statistical information, referred to only by id, was in SQL. Next I used a query of query to join the resultset from the stored procedure with the result set from the Access database and now the data started to resemble something meaningful; however, duplicate information still litered the results.

ColdFusion also allows for manually building a result set. I’ve seen the unfortunate growth in popularity of the term "fake query" which is a terrible misnomer. It is a manual query result set. You, the programmer, are programmatically reproducing a set of data that otherwise would have been delivered via a database engine. So, using a loop to step through our latest result set formed from the QoQ and logic within the loop, I create a result set that combines information from the semi-duplicated rows into a single row. In the process I wrote a slick little number using a structure to hold the grand totals for each segment that I could refer to mathmatically when outputing the result set. Then I simply display the results reaching into the structure for additional information when necessary.

Wahla! Greek.

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Mexico ponders tougher immigration laws

Mexico’s Congress approved a bill Friday decriminalizing possession of small quantities of drugs for personal use – including cocaine, heroin and ectasy

With the latest announcement from Mexico, can we expect to see an onslaught of illegal US immigrants on Mexico’s soil? Is this a conspiracy with the US Right to get more of the Left out of the country? Wait, no! If that was true, they wouldn’t have included cocaine and heroin…

[Source]

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Being Tested

I have a guardian angel. His name is Murph. I named him after Murphy of the Law. Murphy likes to teach me things like Humilty. At 18, while driving my restored Triumph Spitfire 1500 around Memphis I passed another Spitfire that still had work to be done and I commented to myself, "one day yours will look this good." Moments later I wrecked my car. That was Murphy! He frequently tests me at the most inopportune moments. Like last night.

I have a client that I love. They don’t necessarily pay well but I find them very pleasant. I’ll be surprised if they ever work with me again. I’ve dragged what should have been a blink of the eye project on for too long.

Last night I settled in to complete their current project only to find that the washing machine discharge had popped out of the pipe and emptied an entire load into the basement. Murph in action. He helped get some things thrown out that were just taking up space in the basement being ignored. Why did he choose last night? Because I was ready to pop. My stress levels were maxed. I was spending more time fretting than doing. So Murph threw on that last straw to show that things could be worse.

To make his point, he added a punctuation mark this morning. I tried waking at 1:30am and finally rose at 4am. I was cheerful, already solved my programming problem in my head and just needed to type it out, and walked assuredly toward my desk only to simultaneously hear "squish" and feel that icky sensation as the heal of my dress shoes settled into dog poop. His message was clear. Let’s keep things in perspective and not lose our cool over the stuff life puts in our path.

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Rocky Hill Clown Day – a big success!

A friend from the Knoxville Juggling Club joined me to teach the Rocky Hill Elementary first grade how to juggle. All of the children did well. There were about 3 that I wish I could work with weekly; they would turn into amazing jugglers!

My friend has the pleasure of practicing 45 minutes a day. His work is astounding! We were able to pass clubs around the children and do several duo tricks.

Clown Day is a special treat for Rocky Hill Elementary because for the past 26 years or so Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus has sent clowns to the school when they come to town. All the first grade dress as clowns and 12 stations are set up in the gym for circus type activities including a station to learn juggling. Now, most first graders are on the cusp of having the dexterity for juggling. We have roughly 12-15 minutes to teach 8-12 children at a time how to juggle. Rocky Hill has always impressed me with their integration of special needs children. These first graders could include children with Downs Syndrome, Autism, wheel chairs, and other challenges. We work to make sure that all children of all capabilities have fun at the juggling station (although, I never saw the wheel chair student yesterday so I think the teachers made the wrong assumption that he couldn’t participate).

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