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We are going to war!

The squirrels have been sent in!

A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country’s borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes. [Source]

I can’t get the squirrels out of my attic. How do you capture trained spying squirrels?! Perhaps Boris and Natasha were on contract! "We’v ‘ave Moose on our side now as doolble agent." Thank you Ray Kurzweil!

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GW Needs to See Sicko

Democratic lawmakers in Washington say they’re drafting a health care reform bill that would expand coverage for low-income kids. President Bush says he’ll veto any such legislation, warning that it would lead the nation "down the path to government-run health care for every American."

What’s particularly galling about Bush’s position is that it’s coming from a man who just underwent a colonoscopy performed at the taxpayer-funded, state-of-the-art medical facility at Camp David by an elite team of doctors from the taxpayer-funded National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.
[Source]

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I need sponsors quickly!

Last year Cathy, Barry, Jay and myself had a blast raising money for Farm Aid with Blogathon 2006. Cathy has participated in Blogathon several years. This year I thought we were taking off. I was mistaken. Thank you Barry for inspiring us this year. I like the cause.

Star has done an incredible service for Tommy. Star has a waiting list. It took us 3 years to get accepted into the program and I have heard of some folks waiting 7 years. Once they complete their indoor arena, they will be able to double capacity and reduce the waiting lists (as I understand). Please support us by making a pledge for this Saturday’s (in 3 days) Blogathon! You can follow our 24 hours of blogging at http://domesticpsychology.com/blogathon/.

sponsor me

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Oh! That acid rain…

Wow! The things that we miss. I just learned that Pennsylvania has had an underground fire burning for 45 years and that it is likely to burn for another 245 years!

An exposed vein of coal ignited in 1962 due to the standard policy of burning the garbage on a weekly basis in the borough landfill, located in an abandoned mine pit in the southeast portion of Centralia. Attempts to extinguish the fire were unsuccessful, and it continued to burn throughout the 1960s and 1970s.

There are no current plans to extinguish the fire, which is consuming an eight-mile seam containing enough coal to fuel it for 250 years.
[Source]

Apparently, at $42 million, it is cheaper to move a town than extinguish the fire.

The federal and state governments gave up trying to extinguish the fire in the 1980s. “Pennsylvania didn’t have enough money in the bank to do the job,” says Steve Jones, a geologist with the state’s Office of Surface Mining.

Across the globe, thousands of coal fires are burning. Nearly impossible to reach and extinguish once they get started, the underground blazes threaten towns and roads, poison the air and soil and, some say, worsen global warming. … The United States, with the world’s largest coal reserves, harbors hundreds of blazes from Alaska to Alabama. Pennsylvania, the worst-afflicted state, has at least 38—an insignificant number compared with China and India, where poverty, old unregulated mining practices and runaway development have created waves of Centralias.

Scientists estimate that Australia’s BurningMountain, the oldest known coal fire, has burned for 6,000 years.

…in the United States; near Glenwood Springs, Colorado, for example, an old coal mine has burned for the past 100 years.
[Source]

So, why are we still using coal?

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Independent Consulting On Your Time

Ah! The grass is always greener on the other side. If you are in the corporate world, you dream of working for yourself either as a consultant or having your own business. As a consultant or business owner, you long for the simplicity of an 8-5 job with its predictable income, insurance, and assumed stability. The dream of escaping corporate drudgery to freelance is often envisioned with copious free time, barrels of money, setting your own schedule, recovering vacations lost to corporate deadlines, quality time spent with the children, and cutting the yard while advising your client via cellphone for an outrageous hourly fee. The truth of the matter is that a consultant/freeagent has to plan for 20% more time than a regular employee. Yes, that means working for yourself you should plan for a 6 day work week OR 5 ten and half hour work days.

Attitudes change also. The corporate world might have some flexibility in hours. Some people may work 7-4 while others work 10-6 but the world generally expects the business to be open 8-5. When you work for yourself, the world generally expects you to be open 24/7. The world is also shrinking. Right now I am working on a project for a client who is 6 hours ahead of me. That means their day is over one hour from now and if I want that critical progress payment I have one hour to show them the milestone has been met. A couple of weeks ago, I was working with a client 11 hours ahead of me. I also had a client whose corporate offices were 8 hours behind me while their US offices where 3 hours behind me but I received the work through another office which was 1 hour behind me. If you do not set your business hours then it is easy to be sucked into world time and you can easily find yourself trying to be that 24/7 person (ie. exhausted). As a 24/7 person, if you work from your house, you could find clients coming to your door to interrupt dinner, find you in your pajamas, or sunbathing naked in the backyard. Set hours! Most importantly, respect the hours and keep them. If you declare an 8-5 day, you had better be working 8-5. Setting communication hours for IM, email, and phone will also help your productivity (I don’t follow any of these suggestions).

Now, time to defy the laws of physics and make an impossible amount of progress in the next hour. Thank goodness for the television babysitter!

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Stressed? See the Sheriff

Nothing takes a stressful day and heightens it quiet like having a visit from the Sheriff’s department first thing in the morning. So we are late out the door to get Sarah to school. Evan, Molly and I lead out and I see a non-descript car sitting in the cove. Driver spots me and rolls over to the driveway. Oh hell. I prepare myself for bad news. Sure enough, it’s a deputy here to serve a summons to court on a bad debt but not for me. He gets out. Molly lunges and barks (brilliant!). He’s looking for my ex-wife and despite the number of times I have communicated back to the company trying to collect on her that she hasn’t been here for the better part of a decade, they still tried to serve her at this address. The deputy was very kind and polite and offered to riddle the records with notes that she doesn’t live here. He said hopefully the collection agency will stop bothering us.

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Dear America

Please be America again.

So, on July 4th, on your birthday, this is my wish for America and for Americans – that you remember that the right thing to do morally is almost always the right thing to do pragmatically. There is no choice between "freedom and safety"; there is no choice between prosperity and massive inequality; there is no choice between generosity and fiscal prudence and there is no such thing as "managed free speech".

Be the America the world loved. Be the America you can be proudest of – the one that does not torture, that treats all men as equal and with unalienable rights. Be the America that rebuilt Europe and that lends a helping hand to countries like Afghanistan. Be the America that would never invade a country that had not attacked you first. Be the America that is about lifting all boats and not just a few.

Be that America, and we will all be Americans.

[Source]

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Condom testers wanted for new positions

First, no I am not on a condom kick. This story just came out coincidentally close to my anecdote on shopping for condoms with Evan.

Condom

You read that headline and think "ew" or "what a cool job!" I whip out my copy of the Kama Sutra to try to figure out what positions they could have possibly left out!

Durex is a great company with the funniest commercials. They impress me most with their website. Unlike their competitors who use bloated, slow loading flash sites, Durex has a clean, fast loading website packaged with educational information (except for their image downloads which despite numerous back and forth emails I cannot convince them that they are broken).

The position is not paid, but successful applicants will receive a free $60 selection of Durex products and will be required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products’ performance. [Source]

You know, I could picture the feedback going something like this: "The condoms were very comfortable. Like they weren’t there at all. Oh, and let me introduce you to Junior. He was conceived about half way through testing. Btw, I recorded that you have about a 43% breakage rate."

Tim?

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Today’s MUST READ re: US Healthcare

Triple Venti caught me off guard with this one. I have to process it. In the meantime, you should read it!

While on the job one day, I got caught in gunfire in a not very good neighborhood, and got hit in the head. … The insurance company that handled my workman’s compensation claim decided that since there was nothing life threatening about the bullet, they denied the hospital the ability to perform surgery to remove it. … Fast forward 20 years, I still have that projectile embedded there … [Source]

JayMonster, thanks for sharing!

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Insight #8 Into Understanding Women comes from Knoxville!

Guys spend an enormous amount of time trying to understand women. At some point, you get married and have that ah-ha moment when you realize that really it is impossible to understand women and all those years you wasted trying to understand women you could have been watching football. It is at that moment in time that the man generally quits talking to his wife. It isn’t that he has gained wisdom and come to terms that life will be much happier if you just listen to your woman and respond only with "yes dear" to everything that she says. That’s just a fortunate side effect. He is stunned and depressed into silence over the coming to terms with the quantity of football that was missed during his hapless pursuit.

18 Insights into Understanding Women – What they Say When We’re Not Around (worksafe but some adult themes in the insights). Continue reading Insight #8 Into Understanding Women comes from Knoxville!

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So I’m a condom ad

Young Purchases

colored condoms

I remember the first condom I ever bought. I was 11 or 12 and it was a dry, non-lubricated condom. I remember this because I bought it at a store that sold Mardi Gras beads, magic tricks, and novelties. The condom came in a white box with a joke printed on it. I do not remember the joke. What I do remember is that I did not buy it for the joke rather I wanted to know what one of those things looked like.

Condom Aisle

That first condom purchase had no tension. Every condom purchase after that for the better part of a decade was guilt ridden. You’d approach the checkout feeling that because you were under 18 you would be denied your purchase. Or you would not take your eyes off the floor for fear of seeing those judging eyes of everyone in the store who had obviously stopped their shopping to stare at the sinful teen buying a condom. Didn’t they know it was going to just sit in that vinyl wallet to make the status circle until the wrapper wore thin and had to be replaced with another condom?

Providing Protection

Giving a condom

As a resident assistant at the University of TN Knoxville (Clement and Reese), I had condoms galore to distribute to the residents. Aids Response Knoxville had given me 200-300 colored condoms to distribute to the residents. Ha! They should have been named inner tubes rather than condoms considering they were thick enough to bag your lawn clippings. But they were pretty! As I gave someone the last condom, I lamented that I’d have to buy condoms again. Of course, you can get free condoms online from Trojan and Durex.

Five Children Later

Daddy drinks because I cry

Two years ago, Omega was born. Two years ago, I readied myself to never purchase a condom again. For the most part, guys don’t want anyone playing around their groin with one notable exception. Age and economics have placed us in a position of saying 5 children is enough. Don’t get me wrong. I love having a large family and would have really liked having more children (not that many). Just under two years ago, I lamented that merely $600 kept me from participating in National Vasectomy Awareness Week.

Buying Condoms With Children

The other day Cathy, Evan and I approach the checkout at the grocery store and it occurs to me that we are in no position to exercise some adult stress relief. Evan is a little wild so I take him with me as Cathy unloads the shopping cart at the register. I find where they keep the condoms and I stare into the multi-color array of pleasure choices. Ribbed for the illusion of increased stimulation. Extra-large for small egos. Coated in desensitizing lotion in case your antidepressant is not doing its job. "Anti-depressants; they make you popular!" Non-lubricated for nostalgia. Flavored because you’re fooling yourself. Twisted because we’re fooling you. Tingling because no sex is better than the kind she screams out, "it burns! it burns!" Ultra-ultra-ultra thin because you might just want another baby.

Oh. I got distracted. Where’s Evan? Oh! Screaming and bolting for the exit. I grab the least expensive 12 pack (a year’s supply) checking to make sure it doesn’t say nonoxynol-9 (which I am pretty sure doesn’t come on any condom anymore) and making sure it doesn’t say Michelin then bolt for Evan. He sees me coming, laughs, squeals, changes direction and shoots toward the lines of staring people at the checkouts. "Oh look honey! That man carrying the box of condoms is chasing the undisciplined hellion." I finally catch Evan who grabs the box of condoms and politely hands them to the cashier.

Internet Campaign to Neuter Doug

I think Evan is finally turning in his lease. Dr Snip KnifeI have a chance at a romance life again! I think perhaps it is time to walk the path some other brave men have journeyed. Time to buy a decent bottle of scotch and a bag of frozen peas. Dr. Snip here I come!

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Michael Moore’s Sicko Review

A really big thank you needs to be extended to R Neal and Mrs. Neal for putting together this opportunity for the blogging community to gather.

US Canada health care comparison

The first thing that hit me was my overwhelming inability to put faces to online personages. (Sorry to anyone that I shoved the camera in your face and took a picture. I was doing what I was told “take closeup pictures” and it only occurred to me later that I could stand back and use the zoom.) Then I was hit with the nostalgia of Downtown 8. Wow! That theatre hasn’t changed in years. The lack of stadium seating and the click-click-click of non-digital projection really took me back.

I have never seen a Michael Moore film so I truly did not know what to expect. I thought this would be a dull documentary. It was a well narrated, well filmed and entertaining story. From all the controversial and negativeness I have heard, I truly expected the film to be terribly lopsided. On the contrary, I found the information well presented and it seemed very fair. Yes, perhaps the "average" family in France did not truly represent an average family but it made its point well. In January (and other times), I have read and looked into alternative ways health care is provided around the world. I am no expert but Sicko’s information seemed to match my reading.

Cathy and I are two of the 50 million uninsured Americans and we suffer because of it. The children are covered by insurance but I live under constant fear that something will happen to us before I can change our insurance situation. I personally connected with this film on several levels. I laughed. I was awed. I nearly cried. The film documented a future I fear for Cathy and myself. MM SickoBut it goes beyond us. As a cash pay in the doctor’s office, I have noted the different ways we are treated. While an insurance company may deny a procedure, cash never gets turned down; however, it gets frowned at and somehow I feel like I end up in the hands of lessor trained doctors while the insured get the cream of the crop.

Before this film came out, I felt that the health care system in America needed a dramatic change. Yes, I favor a more socialized approach. I feel that if we take care of our citizens then our citizens will take much better care of our society and we will be an even better country. I left the theatre in high spirits knowing that I am not alone in my hopes that one day we will put people’s health above profit. Even if you are a Michael Moore hater, I encourage you to see this film!

I almost took a picture of the near full theatre and could kick myself for not doing so after reading Michael Moore’s letter asking for pictures. I did a rough headcount and gather that there were between 80-100 people watching. In attendance (links to reviews/opinions in bold):

Saw the show

Did not see the show

Update: Cnn Analysis of Sicko. "numbers mostly accurate; more context needed"

As we dug deep to uncover the numbers, we found surprisingly few inaccuracies in the film.[emphasis added] In fact, most pundits or health-care experts we spoke to spent more time on errors of omission rather than disputing the actual claims in the film.

As Americans continue to spend $2 trillion a year on health care, everyone agrees on one point: Things need to change, and it will take more than a movie to figure out how to get there.
[Source]

CNN Reviews Sicko

In a nutshell, Moore’s argument comes down to this: the insurance companies are making a killing at their customers’ expense.

Having “enjoyed” first-hand experience of two of these three health systems — the British and the Canadian — I can attest that they’re not quite as idyllic as Mr. Moore paints them. Except in comparison with the U.S. system, of course, and that’s the point.[emphasis added] Moore is a master of overstatement, but his comic shtick hits the target more often than not. It only hurts when we laugh.

With four times as many health lobbyists as there are congressmen, and with multimillion-dollar campaign donations at stake, the prospect of universal care seems a distant hope.

It’s not impossible that this bitterly funny, bitterly sad call to alms could move reform back up the political agenda. For that reason alone, you owe it to yourself to see this movie. [emphasis added]
[Source]

Some doctors are for national health care: Physicians for a Nation Health Program

Update: Slate: Michael Moore and the Beige Bomber
KnoxBlab discussion
More at Knoxviews
Betsy Pickle – KNS reviewer