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Bedtime with the Beasts – Arrival

We have arrived at the zoo safely.

Some parents were already at Gate 1. Turns out some Girls Scouts have laid claim to the Audubon Society building from the 1800s so we will be at Tiger Tops (Gate 9). Tiger Tops is one of the original zoo buildings that was a small restuarant which patrons could enter and "eat at the zoo" without ever entering the zoo. Gate 9 requires an escort so we are to pile 20 scouts, 5 adults, and their related gear into the 4 cars that will be staying. Physics doesn’t allow such miracles so all parents are allowed into Gate 9 to drop off then the parents not staying are let back out with a footnote that pickup will be at the main entrance not Gate 1. No one mentions needing a 7am exodus.

After getting out of the car, Noah and Phillip walk within 6 feet of a rabbit without noticing and scare it away. Bad omen?

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In the jungle, the lion sleeps tonight

Tonight I get the pleasure of taking 25 cub scouts to the Zoo to spend the night. Two years ago Cathy took the girlscouts. Noah may be just a little excited; at 8am, he asked, "when are we leaving?" This trip sounds really fun!

Noah actually went with the girlscouts when he was 8 years old but had a 1 hour long nose bleed and was picked up early. Hopefully we won’t repeat that tonight.

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Package Check

Men love their penises. This cannot be denied. We remain ever vigilant to size, girth, performance, and usage quotas. We give them names, haircuts, dress them in raincoats, and polish them frequently. But when does a man become aware of his penis? I think most men would admit around age 10 but then go on to lie horribly about the history of their penis, its statistics, the number and frequency of polishings, and the date of first use. Like a used car, you cannot trust the odometer nor the salesman!

All parents of male children know that the adult male’s memory does not serve him well. That penis works from birth. Children bring many shocking things into your life but nothing quite prepares you for the morning salut when changing that diaper within the first 6 months. Then suddenly between 9 months and a year, he discovers it! Opening the diaper invites a package check! You have to rapidly clean the area and then give in to letting him make sure all parts are intact.

Nearing 1 year old, Evan not only does his daily package check, he utters a sound that is hard not to mistake for "Mine!" I assure you, he won’t let go it it until he gets married and hands it over to his wife to keep in a jar.

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Lost thoughts

Since I haven’t done my Lost review this week, I’ll post a comment I made on a forum.

I don’t think Walt ever typed anything on the computer. I think it was in Michael’s mind. I think Walt was trying to communicate telepathically and couldn’t get it quite right which is why he was visible to Shannon and Sayid but his speech was backwards. He found it easier to project the typed text into Michael’s mind.

When Jack walked in on Michael after Michael had been talking to Walt on the computer, the screen was blank although Michael did not touch the keyboard and only a second later had been in mid-sentence with Walt.

I think Fake Henry is a strong telepath. Remember Jack saying “you’ve got good ears.” He wasn’t listening through the door. I think when Michael came into the hatch, Henry finally found a mind weak enough to control. Henry, not Michael, shot the drunks, er, I mean examples, er, partiers, er, no, um, ladies…yes, Henry shot the ladies.

I still think that when Henry said to Anna Lucia, “you killed two good people” that he was looking into her mind and referring to incidents off the island.

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I can’t afford my wife

I knew she valuable and, I love her dearly, but this is just out of budget!

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A full-time stay-at-home mother would earn $134,121 a year if paid for all her work, an amount similar to a top U.S. ad executive, a marketing director or a judge, according to a study released Wednesday.

Now, conceivably you would think we could save money by having her work outside the home but noooooo!

A mother who works outside the home would earn an extra $85,876 annually on top of her actual wages for the work she does at home, according to the study by Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts Salary.com.

Mom’s can go to this website to calculate their pay and get a paycheck printed. I wonder if I can get a $134,121 tax deduction?

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Amidst Celebrity!

I have been in the same room as Glen Reynolds and met Michael Silence (multiple times).

Last night to help the children get their minds off Lucy, we met a visiting uncle and the grandparents at our favorite family restaurant, IHOP. Uncle Stinky had purchased Narnia for the children without knowing they already had it so we all headed to Best Buy for an exchange to Fraggle Rock and to give the boys a chance to use the DS Download Station. Our troops march in and immediate disperse! After making sure that the boys understood the Download Station, I headed off to find out Best Buy does not sell filters for the Roomba (time to order from iRobot). Upon returning to report into my wife, I find that Lissa Kay has identified us! She said she recognized Tommy first but her suspicions were confirmed by our numbers!

Lissa Kay of Oh…really? is wonderfully pleasant. I could have spent the rest of evening chatting with her. Of course there was the trepidation caused by timidity of being amid celebrity. And the hesitation in conversation trying to avoid redundancy.

Me: And then…
Her: Read it.
Me: The cutest thing…
Her: Commented on it.
Me: Did you hear?
Her: Hey! You got that from my blog!

Of course, that was the conversation in my head; not the real one! I hope to bump into more bloggers. It is quite a thrill!

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Lucy has passed on

At roughly 11am yesterday, Lucy peacefully drew her last breath. The family grieves her loss as she has been with the children most of their lives. We have never viewed our animals as simply pets; they are family members. Molly, the dog, and Two Paws, the cat, seem sullen. Lucy shared many great times with us. She will be remembered well.

I want to thank everyone for your supportive comments (and here) on the blogs and in person!