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Today’s Word

This post dedicated to the Blue Sloth in reference to this Tweet.

Hasenpfeffer
A traditional German stew made from marinated rabbit. It derives its name from German Hase (technically ‘hare’ but often used for ‘rabbit’) and Pfeffer (‘pepper’). Wine or vinegar is also a prominent ingredient, to lend a sourness to the recipe.

In American culture, the word "hasenpfeffer" is known primarily from the theme song to the television series Laverne & Shirley ("One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Schlemiel! Schlemazl! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!"). In a popular Bugs Bunny cartoon, Shishkabugs (1962), a Charles Laughton-like king orders his cook (Yosemite Sam) to bring him the aforementioned dish, resulting in difficulty for Bugs.

The word is the namesake of the card game Pepper. It is also mentioned in the song "Don’t Be the Bunny" (sung by Mr. Cladwell and the UGC Staff) from the Tony Award-winning Broadway musical comedy, Urinetown, and is one of William Barfee’s words in the musical comedy The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.

Info provided by Reference.com

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Perhaps I could handle boredom

I have been working for myself for 10 years. I have made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of lessons. I have had feast and famine…lots of famine. All in all, I have had to work my tail off to survive as a consultant. Recruiters and headhunters periodically call me to see if I would be interested in full time employment. Ha! I work more than full time right now! Sure I could cut back to work for a corporation that provided such novelties as health care and vacation time. The recruiters have made it clear that I am the last ColdFusion application developer in Knoxville that does not already work for Scripps, Bush Beans, Clayton Homes, Jewelry Television, or SAIC. Naturally I accept the interview but I have to be careful. A consultant’s clients are fickle. If the client thinks you will not be around to support them, they will choose a different consultant. And since I make the details of my life very public through this website, you can bet my clients know what I am doing with my time!

I am very happy with the work I do and the clients who work with me. As a professional, I do entertain interviews with companies which offer health care and benefits but I could quite happily continue life as a consultant until I die. Recent interviews have proven that may very well be my destiny.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank. Corporate 8 to 5ers working their 40 to 50 hour exempt salaried positions long for the wealth and flexibility of the expensive hourly consultant who apparently can take weeks and months off at a time. The starving consultant tired of dealing with penny pinching deadbeat clients longs for the security and simplicity of cubeville. Consultancy is easy to begin. You have a skillset and may even have a potential client base (unethically borrowed from your current corporate surroundings). The water is deep and there are no ladders out of the pool. In the beginning, when you jump in, people may notice and offer you a hand or even give you the chance to quickly get out, returning you to the sanity of your Herman Miller furniture after having tasted the brutal waters. Over time as you try to dog paddle, and build your ship which will undoubtedly sail you into early retirement, the corporate world shuns you. After a decade you become unhireable.

Cat in a bathConsultants quickly become feral. If a consultant rejoins a corporation, that consultant might pee in the plants, or bite a client! Approaching a cube with an ex-consultant is risky because they might be naked, in their pajamas, or not there at all having come into work at midnight and taken the day off. How is an OCD micromanager to deal with such unpredictability!

Over the past two plus years I have entertained a handful of interviews and not received a single offer. Instead I have had such gems as:

You interviewed great! We were really looking forward to working with you but you failed the personality test.

That came from a 1300 person office. I am really hoping that they meant "we make sure all of our employees are clones" and not "we really think society would benefit if you had yourself locked away."

We think you would be bored in this position.

You know, if the job was easy enough that I would find myself bored, perhaps I would have time to do some professional development for myself or process improvement for the company. Maybe I could actually work normal hours instead of every waking moment! Or maybe I could write one of those business plans or websites for myself that I have wanted to start over the past decade. I think I could handle bored.

Every consultant we have ever hired has left within 6 months to go back into consulting.

There might be something to that one. Of course, it could be that company’s environment just is not conducive to a consultant type. Or perhaps consultants truly cannot make the transition back into 8 to 5 work. I have always said that an entrepreneur can be an 8 to 5er but not all 8 to 5ers can be entrepreneurs. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe entrepreneurs have to be entrepreneurial.

We are concerned that you would be uncomfortable in our structured environment.

Consultants are feral and icky. I have worked sitting on the floor of a closet. I have worked on desks that were made of doors laid across filing cabinets. I have had my own office and I have worked in cubes. Currently I work in a basement with a spider infestation. Throw it at me! I can take it. I think what they might really be saying is "you are a rebel and we don’t understand you. We are afraid you might be disruptive to our structured environment."

What did interviewing do for me? I think it has secured my position as a consultant, assured my current clients that I will be around for a long time to come, and inspired me to work harder to provide for my family those things, such as health care, vacation, and retirement, that a corporate job normally provides. Sure, I will continue to accept interviews for maybe one day a perfect fit will come along, but the grass is no longer that much greener on the corporate hills.

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Where are those readers?

Do you like looking at your stats files? Do you often wonder just where all those IP addresses come from? For those that do not know, an ip address uniquely identifies a computer on the Internet. Type an ip address into http://www.ip-adress.com/ (note address is spelled with one d) and it will show you a map with an approximate location of the computer.

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Image Resizing of the Future

Wow! Seam Carving Image Resizing. Take time to watch this (that link is a better video but at its quota…youtube link here) particularly if you are a programmer or artist. The people removing at the end is remarkable!!

Of course, this mirror made of wood is pretty cool too. If you aren’t sure what you are watching in that one, I’ll explain. There is a camera in the middle of this frame with 830 tiles mounted to 830 servos. There is a light angled from the top onto the tiles. The software interprets the image the camera sees and changes the angle of the tiles so that each one reflects a different amount of light thereby simulating pixels and creating the ability for the wood tiles to form an image. Very cool!

Update: This is a hot topic! See also.

UPDATE: Resize your own images online demo.

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Sleep less but when you do sleep hard

I am doing one of those things right now where I am trading a few years from the end of my life for some time now. Trying to sleep a little less and work a little more. But it catches up to you and last night I think you could have poked me with a stick and I wouldn’t have moved. So all the time I planned on working while others slept has to be moved to today.

I am trying to make the older children more responsible for themselves. That means I may wake them (once) but they are really responsible for getting themselves out of bed, dressed, fed, and off to the bus. Noah likes to get lost in his reading so this morning he left 15 minutes late. He hasn’t returned so perhaps he got lucky and did not miss the bus. The older two are allowed to go to school an hour late on Wednesdays which means I need to carpool them. They seem more on top of things. They were very concerned that I made them late last week so I expect no problems today (unless I make them late again).

Now, for better sleep:

  • Nap every single day
  • Avoid taking a hot bath
  • Make your room cold
  • Exercise intensely
  • Limit red wine
  • Expose yourself to bright light/sunlight soon after waking up in the morning
  • Don’t watch TV
  • Block out noise
  • Find a bedtime ritual that works for you
  • Do what it takes to manage stress in your life
  • Keep pen and notebook next to your bed

[Source]

Be sure to read 11 Unconventional Sleep Tips: How to Get to Sleep and Stay Asleep for the details and explanations.

Improve Memory by Reducing Stress Click image to read. See King Features for more comics

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Rough day for the bus

School Buses

Tommy is a senior this year. His whole school career he has either been driven to school or ridden "the short bus." A special needs bus with 7 to 13 students with a variety of handicaps and disabilities (along with no trained aid – soapbox issue) is far different from a full size bus with..oh, 40 to 60 students. Tommy is riding the regular bus for the first time in his life. So far it has been a good experience. This morning however, he miss his bus by 30 seconds. Ran up the street just in time to see it pulling away. That had to be frustrating to a person who is used to a bus pulling up in front of his house and honking the horn then patiently waiting while he rose from bed, dressed himself, grabbed a Poptart, and leisurely hobbled to the bus.

This day continues to be hard for Tommy bus-wise. Apparently a student got on the bus without a note authorizing that student to get be on that bus. The bus is returning to the school and a small riot is occurring on the bus. An irate Tommy called to complain to me. Obviously, he had joined in with the other students to raise voice and gripe. I think I talked him down from such a mistake. This is a difficult situation for an Aspie.

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Saving the Earth one naked person at a time

or maybe a little over 600 people. Shrunken penises, hard nipples, and frigid women! And one severely painted man(nsfw) who I do not think could possibly hold another tattoo. Oh, Greenpeace! And the famous Spencer Tunick of course! (and as if you really had to ask, no! That link is not safe for work…)

This moment brought to us by BoingBoing from LaughingSquid.

Update: there appears to be at least one family of confused cave people(nsfw) from global warming’s progress on the glaciers.

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Such an inappropriate dad

Tommy's first backpacking trip

Tommy missed his bus this morning so I had to drive him in. On the way to school I asked him about his camping trip this past weekend and how he was feeling. Now I like esoteric humor and double entendre and often for my own entertainment include references in my conversations that simply are missed or go over people’s heads without changing the flow or meaning of our discussion. I entertain myself this way. I asked Tommy if he used the latrine in the woods then to be clear I added, "Did you shit in the woods?" I was making a reference to this book and realizing that Tommy would not have a clue I corrected myself, "Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that." and Tommy interjected, "There’s a book with that title." He got it! He caught the hidden reference! Tommy never ceases to amaze me.

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When the skeltons fall out of the closet

I have often pondered whether or not my life is in order enough for me to die. If Cathy and I got killed in a car accident today, would I be ashamed to have relatives, friends, and estate movers go through my house. The truth of the matter is there are 2 or 3 things that I should probably give some attention to before I die. One, having pack ratted and kept unnecessary clutter, I should get fly and throw out a bunch of stuff or at least clean and organize.

Oh my God! How did they live this way?!

Truthfully, Cathy and I are both working at de-cluttering. A slightly larger house or a couple of room additions to this one would be helpful. So would a storage shed for bikes, outdoor toys and yard equipment.

Two, I have kept journals, deep dark inner thoughts released to paper to unclutter the mind. These thoughts, some irrational and most situational, simply would not make sense to readers other than myself. I would hate to have someone’s memories of me misconstrued by some misinterpreted readings.

The boy needed therapy!

Note to self: find a trusted friend that will sneak in and burn those things after my demise.

Three, The Drawer of Sex and Violence. Admit it! If you are an adult, you’ve got one too. Shoot. If you are a teenager you probably have one. Granted, it may only contain condoms (or small condoms), a playboy (after all, you’ll go blind!), a flashlight, or something else that helps you ring your bell.

In late summer several years ago, the county medical examiner was called by the police to view two bodies found in bed in a private home. The home belonged to a 39-year-old caucasian male whose body was one of those found in the bed. The other body was that of a 31-year-old caucasian female. The female body overlaid that of the male. It was obvious that the couple was engaged in sexual relations when they died. [Source]

I do not mind admitting that I have worked through a few pages of The Sutra. By after reading this, I now understand what people mean by kinky.

The deaths apparently were related to the use of an elaborate apparatus utilizing electrical current for stimulation. [Source]

Those poor people! But I guess if you are going to go out…well…no…that’s just not one of the ways I want my body to be discovered.