Mom: "Mister! If you are going to pee on the floor, you are going to clean it up!"
Category: Cathy
Who’s the crab?
One of the challenging things about marriage is relationship management. In the corporate world, we go to training classes, seminars, mentoring, internal training, and read books on how to get along. In marriage, we wing it. In work, you leave the people you "relate" to at the door at 5pm. In marriage, you are glued to each other non-stop. People are creatures of habit and routine. We come to expect a person to be a particular way with a particular attitude. Vacations wreck havoc on routines, bring a new set of stresses and the unknown. Our attitudes and moods change with a vacation.
This morning I felt rested and relaxed. Evan rose at 6:30am and asked that I rise with him. I thought I’d be nice and let everyone else sleep in. Evan and I enjoyed some time together watching cartoons, playing with toys, and eating breakfast. I was happy. So I thought. When Cathy rose, I noted to myself that she was grouchy but I said nothing figuring that her morning caffeine was not working yet. Then came a moment where she complained about how I was relaxed then became terse and crabby when Evan got up. So who is right? Which one of us is the morning grouch? Doesn’t matter. Once someone declares me grouchy or crabby I turn into an ugly person. My mind decides, "Why try to be nice if when you are trying its not working?" Karma gets me back though. In my exasperation, I went to the porch to get some air and the door sprung back in my face spilling coffee on my most comfortable shorts.
Were either of us crabby? Probably not. We were probably working two different agendas and our moods are different than the usual. Subconsciously we probably assessed the other as off and because the other wasn’t working the same unspoken plan, labeled them crabby.
It’s a beautiful day today. I think I’ll spend it on the computer.
From the mouths of babes
Mom: "Evan, are you a boy or a girl?"
Evan, 3 years old: "uhnt, uh"
Dad: "Evan, are you a boy?"
Evan: "No!"
Mom: "Evan, are you a girl?"
Evan: "No!"
Dad: "Say, I have a penis."
Evan: "I know you have a penis!"
Today’s Marital Advice
Never begin the day with the question, "Are you crabby today?"
18 children? I asked Cathy for a 6th.
My child walks the road where dogs go to die
Thank you strangers, whoever you were, for delivering my child from harms way. See, I just washed the dog, was shirtless, and looking fairly unpresentable having just returned from leading 17 boys on a rock climbing camping trip. By the time I grabbed a shirt you were gone. I suppose I should have just gone to your car. It would have completed the picture of an irresponsible white trash parent for you. My almost 6 year old daughter was trying to find the neighbor’s dog after it ran away and the neighbor, thinking the children wouldn’t wander far, told the children they could not come back into the house until the dog was found. My daughter knows she cannot go past a certain marking on the street but apparently did not know she could not cross the creek. That creek is thick with mud and still has water from our recent deluges. She found her way to Northshore Drive which is one of those roads riddled with crosses on the shoulder and enough road kill to create an A to Z picture book of dead animals. This is the same road I fought for three years to convince the school that our elementary school bus stop should not be on that road.
I have to say this event has created conflict in so many ways. The wife and I are bitterly angry at each other because I grew furious that she wouldn’t go greet you. She did not understand what I was asking, did not see you pull up, and also considered herself unpresentable. Instead you met my oldest son. He has an issue with social situations and does not understand things like asking for your name so that I have some semblance of a clue about whether or not you were friends or just plain good Samaritans. You also met my dog who is a very friendly and safe German Shepherd but has taken to running toward strangers at the house with a fear inducing bark but really she just wants to say hi and let us know you are here. I got mad because I just soaked myself and made my back ache giving her a bath on the porch but apparently I am the only person in our family capable of opening the front door without letting the dog outside. I am upset with my daughter for straying so far from home, for being on such a dangerous road, and for getting in a car with someone she did not recognize, "because she told [her] to get in and [she] didn’t want to be rude." At the same time, I am thrilled that she got in the car with you! I will have to re-think this whole brainwashing our children to not trust strangers bit. After all, aren’t most people good? Shouldn’t we trust each other? Thanks again for keeping my child safe!
Update: Later the neighbor did drive out and find their dog safe and sound.
Blogfest was a blast!
Rich pulled together another great gathering of great minds. Hopefully Lissa will have the official round up. You know..my beer damaged brain keeps wanting to introduce her as Leesuh but her name is Lihsuh. I’m so sorry!
In attendance were Cathy (minus business cards…sorry), Rich, Lissa, Tommy, Victor Agrenda (Knoxvillians probably want to read him here), Joseph Agreda, Frank Murphy (and son), Jon Katsiros, and a friend of Jon’s (sorry..I missed their sites). Michael Silence had planned to attend but something must have come up. Apologies if I left anyone out.
We secured a large space of the absolutely packed (and valet parked) Wild Wing’s Cafe. Now we probably overstayed our welcome. Little note to management, simply asking if we could free the table would be better than slowly turning up the radio. When the radio didn’t run us off, they turned the televisions to a ball game at LOUD volume. As we left, the TVs suddenly quieted. That was funny! The venue was nice but I think we are still looking for the ideal spot which combines fun, food, adult beverages but child friendly (I suppose that’s optional), wifi, and the ability to socialize.
What happens at a Blogfest? We get to see the faces behind the words we read in feed. Of course as video and audio become more prominent by citizen journalist publishings that statement loses some of its oompfth. Still, nothing compares to the energy and dynamics of real life conversation which is what I believe Loic Le Meur (Whoa! He’s my younger brother’s age!) is attempting to duplicate with Seesmic. New ideas are generated, laughs, laughs and more laughs, food is consumed and beverages, economic and social boundaries are breached bringing people in different walks of life and opposing political views together on common ground, introductions are made and new readers created in this pioneering land of blog. Overall, good times are had. Of course, I miss seeing Randy Neal, Dr. Helen, and the blogfather himself, Glenn Reynolds at the table. Lookout Glenn! You’ve just been RealityMeAlanched! And yes, to all those I didn’t name, I missed you too!
Oh, one, is that Sylar?! (Sylar’s IMDB) And, two, my wife thought one of the guys in attendance had "really sexy eyes."
Other Blogfests:
- January 18, 2008: Another wonderful Blogfest!
- July 28, 2007: Blogfest and Blogathon
- June 9 2007: And then there was Blogfest!
- April 21, 2007: Blogfest Happened!
- February 10, 2007: The Best Blogfest Write-up!
Update: Lissa posts about A Wild Blogfest and Rich has his wrap up. Frank has posted blogic: the gathering and Tommy put down a few sentences. Cathy talks about the restrooms at Wild Wings Cafe.
Cathy recognized by Alltop
I think Cathy’s writing is fantastic but I happen to be biased. I find Domestic Psychology a pleasure to read (again with the bias). I am tickled to announce that Cathy has been recognized by Guy Kawasaki and has joined the likes of Jack Lail in Alltop! Cathy is in the Alltop Life category along with some familiar blogs such as xkcd.com, indexed and Sarcomical. Congratulations to Cathy! (Does this mean I don’t have to program anymore?)
Ah Yesterday, seems so far away…
Note: If you don’t want to read this, you can get the summary by reading how to turn a $2 pair of scissors into a digital camera.
Morning begins last night
Got home at 2am and went to sleep. Woke at 4am to clean up puppy poo. Went back to bed.
Work and paperwork
Woke decently early to do some programming and file taxes for Tommy’s student loan paperwork. Decided a bath was in order and if I pushed it I could still pick Sarah up at 11am. Didn’t push it.
Taxi service and administrative admin
Got Sarah at 11:20am but the mother and everyone left (2 more girls) but Sarah and the party girl were still sleeping. Embarrassed Sarah by calling her emo on the phone in a call to a hair stylist. Made an appointment for 2:30pm. Got home to find out that Sarah and her friend wanted to do this hair stylist thing together. Why didn’t Sarah say that in the car? Tommy also has a D&D game at Books-a-Million at 2pm. Called stylist again further interrupting her from her present client. Moved appointment to 3:30pm as a joint appointment. Sarah tells the plan to the friend. Friend’s mother calls and person she talks to can’t find them on the books so she makes their appointment for 2:30pm. I call the other mother on my left holding phone to left ear. On another phone, on the right ear, I call stylist back further interrupting her present client. We sort things to 2:30pm. Girls rush to prepare themselves. As I realize that of the quarter inch of paperwork, I only have to turn in a single sheet for Tommy’s student loan and it must me postmarked today! The post office closes at 3pm. That answers the, "who is going and who is staying?" question.
Mobilization!
The house erupts into chaos as commands are shouted and all hands work to dress small children, inspect faces, comb hair, walk dogs, load diaper bags, find trench coats (Tommy just watched The Matrix for the first time), and roll out. The sick one happily volunteers to stay home talking on the phone and playing on the computer and sorta watch the dogs.
Road trip
Fortunately we started on the back roads which were traffic free and spat us out at Books-a-Million at 2:02 right as one of Tommy’s friends were unloading. The others were just in the door of books a million and were happy to see Tommy. It is so nice to see Tommy with friends. We turn east on Kingston Pike noting that westbound is at a standstill for no apparent reason. 
At 2:15 Sarah and Cathy are deposited at High-tech Salon. After spending several minutes convincing Amy to put her seatbelt back on, we are speeding off to the post office but first a challenge. As we approach the intersection at the mall, the traffic signals are flashing red and yellow. Eastbound has 2 turn lanes north, 3 lanes east, and 1 turn lane south. Westbound has 2 turn lanes south, 2 lanes west, and 1 turn lane north. Southbound has 2 turn lanes east, 2 lanes south, and 1 lane west. Northbound has 1 turn lane east, 2 lanes north, 1 turn lane west. Everyone is trying to go at once. If I was alone and had a whistle I would have gotten out and directed traffic! Instead I used my handy dandy aggressive driving skills to brown a few shorts and wiggle my way through the cluster duck unscathed. We make it to the post office and get our paperwork postmarked with certified delivery with time to spare.
Home for calm
Amy, Evan and I return home to give Evan a nap, check on the sick one, make sure the dogs have been walked and left me focus. A few minutes later I get the call that the grandparents are on their way to pickup Amy and Evan. I rush to the church clothes out, diaper bag prepared, and pull up a hay bail to try to cover some of the muddy yard but the hay is wet, moldy and unusable. Our front yard has degraded into such a mess I am considering having some sod delivered despite my desire to have an eco-lawn. A bouncy Amy is loaded into the grandparents car; a zonked, sleeping Evan is also loaded into the car. And I decide to check on the girls.
The Land of Esoteric Businesses
I arrive at High-tech Salon to see smiles on staff, clients and mothers. My girl is sitting under a hair dryer having aluminum foil glued into her hair. Her friend is resting on a sink. I relax in a hair dryer chair and kick my feet up for a few minutes before deciding I should go exploring. The shopping complex was very interesting. Leaving the salon I found a business about the size of my kitchen that was another salon but completely in Spanish. Beside that was a Spanish travel agency. Across the parking lot was an Indian grocery which intrigued me. I walk in "Marahba!" The owner looks up at me, "What you want!" Oops. Hello in Hindi is "nameste." Peruse and leave. Ignore the Spanish grocery or is that a Spanish employment agency. Look! Something in English. Driving school. The same strip actually has two driving schools which speaks volumes. It also has two different consignment stores and a chocolate factory. I decide to find some umpa lompas.
Sweets for the sweeties
After deciding on some chocolate for Cathy, I realize my wallet is in the car. I return to High-tech to confirm that I still have time to buy them sweets and in the process I get several other orders for chocolate. We get Cashew Wispers, dark chocolate dipped cordials, milk chocolate dipped cordials, dark chocolate caramels, milk chocolate caramels, chocolate covered peanut butter and one with rice crispies in the batch, and I decide a little fudge is in order for me. I finish as the the girls finish and I almost don’t recognize Sarah! Her make-over went really well.
Resupplying
The shelves have been barren far too long and Tommy is not finished. We have handed Sarah off to the grandparents and decide to go to Sam’s. I really don’t know how our family would get on without Sam’s Wholesale Club! Nothing feels quite as good as buying one package of toilet paper (72 rolls) that I know will last us an entire month. Of course, I rarely enjoy the cash register. I can usually predict the total and I swoon. But the dry goods will last most of the month and the food a week.
Evening meltdown
I prepare dinner. Call the boys to the table but they are each too caught up in their games. Their loss. Cathy and I enjoy a meal together and eventually the boys show up complaining, "we never hear you." I am pitiless. We have dinner roughly the same time each night besides I kept their meal warm. After a long day my logical side wants to settle into the computer and get some work done. My brain is fried and all I can settle into is the television and bed. Typical Saturday. It was fun!
Why I like getting up at 2am
Between 2am and 6am I can knock out a bunch of work! No phones ring. Even the dogs don’t need walking. Since I got up at 2am and have been diligent in my work, when Cathy woke with a migraine this morning, I was able to send her back to bed and move my work upstairs. Being upstairs with one eye on the children and one eye on the screen slows me down a little but conceptually I could take 4 hours off (realistically I need to keep pounding keys hard and fast) but the stress is off. I don’t think I could do this from an office.
Child-free and no place to go!
And what a merry Christmas it was!
To all to whom I have not responded, thank you for your well wishes!
To all to whom we did not send a card, you were not forgotten! There was probably a technical reason like needed your address or my mad cow caused me to fail to get you on Cathy’s master mailing list.
Miracles and angels came through to help pull together our Christmas at the last minute. The children were well gifted and very happy with their presents. 
We had a wonderful visit from both sets of grandparents and Aunt Kelly.Cathy and I promised to be budget minded and agreed to not buy each other anything which is why we are both now the proud owners of new iPod nanos. We both cheated feeling the other was well deserving of a new toy.
Each year it seems one of the children gets a bum deal. This year it was Sarah’s turn. Both Tommy and Sarah received new office chairs for their desks from their grandparents. They were thrilled! I prompted Tommy to hold off on assembly until I could help him. Sarah did not heed my warning and broken open the package of numerous parts in the midst of our unwrapping mess and started assembling without checking the parts list nor understanding the instructions. (She’s going to drive like Cathy! "It felt correct to turn this way. NO! I didn’t take a left turn at Albuquerque this time.") We could not find the screws! 6 screws AWOL. We even pulled the trash back inside and went through every piece of wrapping and package that had been discarded. Tommy learned and quickly went over his parts list only to find a critical piece missing. We quickly discovered his critical piece was already attached to his chair. It wasn’t until a day later that Sarah and I drove to Home Depot and purchased bolts and washers that we realized her bolts were already in their respective holes. 
We figured this out because we could not get the new bolts to go into them! Doh! She also received a Nabaztag but it still isn’t working. Story to follow. which is finally working! After creating an account at Nabaztag, you can send a message to her rabbit over the Internet or with your phone and it will speak the message to Sarah. Oh, I almost forgot. When assembling the chair, Sarah dropped a heavy part on her foot breaking a toe. Poor Sarah!
The children had a fantastic Christmas and so did Cathy and I. Now back to work so I can finish paying off this one and put away for Christmas 2008!
Not the brightest bulb on the tree
I guess I need to have a little talk with my 1337 boy about diplomacy. Son, just because you are young and naive and want to fancy yourself a geek doesn’t mean you have to talk with shoe leather in your mouth. Uber stupid!
Mars and Venus
Parenting – nothing harder
I woke up late this morning. Amy and I would have to leave in 2 minutes to catch the bus. Wasn’t going to happen but getting to school on time in the carpool would be no problem. Well, one would think. Amy and I could not agree on her outfit. Need a tough negotiator? Send in a 5 year old! My patience ended up being tried and lost. I was outwitted by a child and my primordial reaction was to get gruff, raise my voice, and shove her to the car. Bad dad. Of course, she needed clothing so I tossed her anything and declared, "go ahead. Look like a clown." Certainly not a tv dad today! Fortunately, Mom rose from the dead, fighting back her nausea, to save Amy. She gently helped her get attired in clothing Amy liked. She wiped her tears, gave her a hug, scowled at me, and we were on our way. Amy arrived at school 16 minutes late which in the grand scheme of things was not worth one ounce of the stress I caused this morning. Coincidentally, one of her teachers was in the office and cheerfully greeted her. After asking Amy if she was ready for fun gym, she escorted her to class. Please have a great day Amy. I’m going to start mine over.
