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Beating Around the Bush

struck by the Marker Fairystruck by the Marker Fairy

Well, I guess the title of this post is a bit more direct than my wife. See I think there has been some confusion over the Marker Fairy references. During Blogfest I tried to explain to Lissa Kay that the color of the marker holds significance. When two grown adults’ needs fall out of sync, tensions build. You know. If one adult is a morning person and the other is a night owl, it makes communication difficult.

Marker Fairy!Marker Fairy!

Cathy has simply found an interesting way to express her needs. Btw, for those of you letting your minds wander with that squiggle on my back, it is just an ice cream cone; really, it’s an ice cream cone!

I have been meaning to give that explanation since April 21! Now that’s off my chest I wonder if we can keep the green marker off my chest too!

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I do blog the kids lives

Jon has decided against live blogging his children’s lives. I like how he phrased that-"live blogging" their lives. As I post our adventures, I had never thought of it that way before. I spent some time replying to his post and since it was so lengthly thought I should repost it here.

I watched my great Aunt, an English teacher from the College of William and Mary and a world traveler, lose her latter years of her life to Alzheimer’s*. There are stories of my childhood I have been told but have either grown fuzzy or gained exaggeration over the years and the keepers of those stories have either passed or are living far away. My mind falters from time to time even today (mostly due to stress). I never heard a single story of my grandfather’s experiences at Normandy or my other grandfather’s at the chemical weapons plant in Kentucky.

I record my family’s time together and the special events in the children’s lives for prosperity. A journal they can return to view later in life. Is it folly to think that a WordPress application will work 15 years from now? Yes, but something will import the data or maybe some antique computer will rest in grandpa’s garage for the purpose of story telling. Shoot, Oregon Trail is like 35 years old and is still going! I find it nice to be able to return to dates and times and see the events that influenced our moments.

Privacy? It slips further away everyday. Between AT&T becoming the evil empire, AOL dishing over search engine queries, the swipe of your credit card or request for id putting you at a place and a time, Google Street Maps, and the hundreds of cameras that film you daily (from street corners, convenient stores, satellites, gas pumps, ATMs, cashiers, camera phones and others), our lives are recorded whether we want them to be or not. The stories I tell online I would tell in person or even in print in the hometown newspaper. Maybe I’ve gone out of line a couple of times but nothing that is going to keep my children from job opportunities or earn them embarrassing nicknames.

The stories create bonds between other people with children. It’s nice to know that your child isn’t the only one that at 10 years old lost all common sense. In a sense though, a mommie blog or a daddy blog can start to look like one of those family vacation slide shows where you as the guest have to endure the kathunk kathunk of monotonous slide after slide while family laughs at memories and inside jokes with you staring at out of focus strangers. If anything, that could be a reason to not live blog the children’s lives.

I would not be so presumptuous as to try to influence your decision one way or another. That’s personal. It could be over safety or privacy (as you stated). This is just why I do it. And we have dared to be so bold as to let the 3 older children each have their own blog with their own domain name. Our reasoning for doing such outweigh the safety concerns of the dropped chin people we tell "sure, they each have their own blog."

Source

*Several readers may be quick to note that I didn’t personally interact with Aunt Mary in her final days (or years even). Her passing was impactful none-the-less. There was one Christmas we drove her from Richmond, VA to Norfolk Beach with Dad behind the wheel, Aunt Mary riding shotgun, and me in the backseat (was Dean there? Yes, I think he was).

Aunt Mary looks back at me/us and asks Dad, "Who are they?"
Dad replies, "Those are my illegitimate children."
Aunt Mary exclaims, "The bastards!"

It was riotous and a sad sign of what was ahead with confusion like turning on the stove top to wash dishes.

I have an essay I want to write soon explaining why I am less concerned with online privacy, why online pictures of the children (geotagged even) are not dangerous, why having the children get involved in online publishing and social networks at an early age can be good for their futures and careers, and how the media scaring the public for revenues is hurting technological advancement.

Update: See the media puts unreal fear into us evoking "protect kids from online predators"

The next time someone starts telling you how important it is to “protect kids from online predators,” send them to this record of the DC Internet Caucus panel on kids and predation, wherein quantitative social scientists describe the real situation with predators and kids. Kids do get preyed upon, but not in the way that it’s depicted in the media, and none of the cell-phone-tracking, spyware-installing fear-based parenting does squat to protect them.

…first fact is that the predominant online sex crime victims are not young children…

It’s also interesting that deception does not seem to be a major factor. …The offenders lure teens after weeks of conversations with them, they play on teens’ desires for romance, adventure, sexual information, understanding, and they lure them to encounters that the teams know are sexual in nature with people who are considerably older than themselves….

[Source] [See also]

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From the mouths of babes

preparing the sandwich

Upon returning home from getting Amy to Zoocamp, I see a large bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos on the kitchen table. Noah comes in and snatches one.

Dad: "What did you eat for breakfast?"
Noah: "A cup of milk."

Noah’s eating habits become worse everyday. I battle in my head different ways of changing his diet because I feel strongly his diet is having a significant impact on his well being. Right now though, I am allowing that path of least resistance on the premise that he will eventually start trying vegetables and more interesting foods of his own accord. I fear I am wrong.

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Seemed funny at the time

So, when you grab the camera to take a progress picture of your construction downstairs and your wife quips about taking a picture of your anatomy, don’t do it and definitely don’t make it the first picture in the camera because she might just start the pictures downloading on her computer in the kitchen and walk away to take a nap.

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And then there was Blogfest!

They gathered, and there was much posting!

Cathy felt I needed an opportunity to socialize with other bloggers without chasing Evan around.

He chatted with strangers trying to enjoy their meal with the exception of the older gentleman and his daughter co-worker date escort hooker which is regretful because that could have been a fun conversation, “pardon my son for interrupting your, uh, uh, thang. So, do you measure those heals with a yard stick?” [Source]

Tommy Shoots Pool

Tommy decided to join me on the promise that he would get to play some pool. The downside of letting me go by myself was that Cathy was not around to keep me in line..ahem!..Sorry about the shiny head jokes guys. It just came to me in a flash. This blogfest promised to be interesting as I really could put name to face and I would be able to talk without that "where’s the toddler" twitch. Rich assures me that Evan is great at the events and that I need to worry about him less. The first Blogfest we attended has a sense of apprehension to it. I mean, we all knew other and simultaneously knew nothing of each other.

we all read each other so…is there really anything to talk about? "Um..Post #1345." "Ha! That was great. I responded in comment #12768." "Read it! Excellent retort! Did you catch the Youtube video on that?" "Covered it in post #4491." Silence. "Check please." [Source]

The second Blogfest was more natural but faces and names were still coming together.

When people from the online world meet for the first time, the experience is unnerving, fascinating, and enlightening for these online people have shared stories and know of each other intimately but are always surprised to find that often the person they "know" online is not the same as the person in real life. [Source]

LesMichael and MckinleyTish and MarkLissa KayRich and Paul

The attendees at this third Blogfest were Mushy’s Moochings (who’s review has much clearer pictures than my cell phone pictures above), Shots Across the Bow, LissaKay (she impressed me with her semantics), The Kat House (also great pictures in her review), Blogitude (another great picture..beginning to think the camera phone isn’t sufficient!), No Silence Here with Knoxville’s youngest blogger – Mckinley, Les Jones, and Tommy (picture above at the pool table).

Rich Lissa LesRich Lissa Les

The turnout was a little smaller than previous events. I hope that is because of the summer and not partisan politics, or a mistaken thought that we like each other better in print than in person. The event really was fun! Several of the bloggers even tracked down one missing blogger (Barry of Inn of the Last Home) to hear him play at the Eagle’s Lodge. Unfortunately, I had kept Tommy from World of Warcraft too long and had to skip the Eagle’s Lodge to treat his withdrawal symptoms. See you guys next time!

Side note, we did have a couple of baseball players try to join our conversation ala Jon Stewart’s giant head of Brian Williams but we mostly ignored them.

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Turn Your TV Into Art

Jon has been talking about turning off the television and it is always a hot topic at BloggingBaby (see also Hottest TV Dads and Who Should Control Your TV?). I personally see the tv as a double-edged sword. I love the educational value. I have seen Amy and Evan learn concepts, songs, and words from the television. It is good. We have used it as a babysitter (good and bad). We have used it as an excuse to not play with our children or have dinner at the dinner table (both BAD!). I am often frustrated with the television and, having lived without one for a year, I recognize the benefits that could be reaped by turning the television off for a length of time. Perhaps in the summer tvs should be shut off and computers should be removed from bedrooms.

Or, we could turn our television into art! Click the picture below to see how.

Abstractor can instantly tansform any television into a beautiful piece of art. Watch and find out how to make your own. Visit Abstractor.tv
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I hate 10am

I have grown to hate 10am. It has become a magic number..black magic..evil. It simultaneously represents a time of should and cannot. On the clock it is the polar opposite of 4pm which is a terribly unproductive time of day for me. 8am is a potentially very productive time of day for me as is 2pm. I think I’m going back to bed.

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And let the world spin

I need to be working but can’t get to my computer. Instead I build up my stress. By the time, I get to my computer my anxiety will be so high that I will be completely dysfunctional. My sinuses are broken today. Apparently my nose thinks it is a water faucet. I run to the bathroom ever couple of minutes to blow my nose. Between blows the pressure under my eyes builds up to feel like I have been smacked in the face. I could take a decongestant but then I’d sleep the day away.Couple all of this with the dizzy. Yes, the dizzy spells are trying to rear their heads again. Philip has the mola mola; I’ve got a tornado in my head. I think both conditions are stress related.

My family wants to be swimming at the pool today at 2pm. I bet that would dry up my sinuses! I could use some exercise and some sun. I won’t be there. I want to be painting the bedroom walls. I want to be blogging about last night’s Blogfest. I want to be juggling. I want to be finishing my projects. I want to know how I will feed my family next week. I want to be playing with my children. I want to build them a club house, a tree fort and a zip line in the back yard. I want my head to be clear.

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The Funniest Thing Said and You Missed It!

Last night Jon Stewart brought it home. He nailed it for me last night. I laughed until I cried. It was so subtle. Did you catch it?

Paul Rudd, "I have a feeling that in the entire history of Comedy Central I’m the first person that’s ever said ‘pump out a Rene Auberjonois‘"
Jon Stewart, "There’s actually uh Carlos Mencia does it as a recurring bit."
Paul Rudd, "I knew I’d heard it before!"

So why’s it so funny? Read this exceptional article, Take the Funny and Run in full to really understand the joke. For those that don’t want to click over, here’s the brief:

Rogan, who refers to Mencia as "Carlos Menstealia," claims it’s common knowledge among his fellow funny men that Mencia takes bits from other comics and performs them as his own. [Source]

Anyone who has ever performed stand-up is familiar with the red light, the universal signal that warns dawdlers it’s time to wrap things up. In the ’80s, comics at the Hollywood Improv came up with a novel use for the light. When shining steadily, it had the conventional meaning. But if the bulb began sputtering, it was the comedic equivalent of an air-raid siren, warning performers to lock up their original material immediately unless they wanted to lose it to a master thief.

Robin Williams, comedy’s most notorious joke rustler, was in the house.

…the famed Comedy Store in Los Angeles has even instituted a Mencia early-detection signal similar to the Improv’s for Williams, though considerably less high-tech. "Every time he walks in, the guys in the cover booth just start yelling ‘Mencia’s here!’"

[Source]