Category: Daily Life

Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.

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You don’t get what you don’t ask for

I have seen a lot of content theft from Reality Me. Yes, I publish full RSS feeds because I like to read full RSS feeds and you get what you give. But that makes it easier for robotic blogs to steal the content and present it as their own. The only way I know about the theft is that I allow trackbacks in my comments. Fortunately, many of my posts link to other information on Reality Me so when someone steals my content I instantly know. That also puts me in a quandary. Technically, these sites are helping my page rank and validating my blog by giving links back to me. On the other hand, they are diminishing the quality of the content (as viewed by the search engines) since the content of the post is duplicated in its entirety. So, do I ignore the theft valuing my time and the links to my blog more than the theft of my hard work? (see comments 6, 7 and 8 on this post that I composed over the course of a week) Or do I waste valuable time tracking down the owner of the blog and pursing legal recourses to stop the infringement?

When I noticed that another post was stolen on June 30, I decided to follow Lorelle VanFossen’s advice and contact the thief. I posted the following as a comment on the other blog:

This is to advise you that you are using copyrighted and protected material on your website/blog. Your illegal use of XXXX article at XXXURLXXX is originally from my website/blog called XXTITLEXXX at XXXURLXXX. This is original content and I am the author and copyright holder. Use of copyright protected material without permission is illegal under copyright laws.

Please take one or more of the following actions immediately:

* Re-write the post to include excerpts with a link to the original content.
* Credit the material specifically to me, as author, and my website [be specific].
* Provide compensation for use of my copyright protected material of $XX.00 USD paid via [payment method].
* Remove the plagiarized material immediately.

I expect a response within 5 days to this issue. Thank you for your immediate action on this matter.
[Source]

Naturally I filled in all the Xs appropriately. Surprisingly it took less time to do that than it is taking to write this post. And in just about as much time, the theft had turned to honorable blogger by changing the post to a summary and giving an appropriate attribution. I was pleasantly surprised and no longer harbored ill feelings toward the other person. I even followed up with a thank you comment. I feel we both win this way.

Lorelle VanFossen has more fantastic insight into the problem of content theft explaining image theft, feed scraping, and website hijacking. She also explains what to do when you become a victim of content theft.

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So I’m a condom ad

Young Purchases

colored condoms

I remember the first condom I ever bought. I was 11 or 12 and it was a dry, non-lubricated condom. I remember this because I bought it at a store that sold Mardi Gras beads, magic tricks, and novelties. The condom came in a white box with a joke printed on it. I do not remember the joke. What I do remember is that I did not buy it for the joke rather I wanted to know what one of those things looked like.

Condom Aisle

That first condom purchase had no tension. Every condom purchase after that for the better part of a decade was guilt ridden. You’d approach the checkout feeling that because you were under 18 you would be denied your purchase. Or you would not take your eyes off the floor for fear of seeing those judging eyes of everyone in the store who had obviously stopped their shopping to stare at the sinful teen buying a condom. Didn’t they know it was going to just sit in that vinyl wallet to make the status circle until the wrapper wore thin and had to be replaced with another condom?

Providing Protection

Giving a condom

As a resident assistant at the University of TN Knoxville (Clement and Reese), I had condoms galore to distribute to the residents. Aids Response Knoxville had given me 200-300 colored condoms to distribute to the residents. Ha! They should have been named inner tubes rather than condoms considering they were thick enough to bag your lawn clippings. But they were pretty! As I gave someone the last condom, I lamented that I’d have to buy condoms again. Of course, you can get free condoms online from Trojan and Durex.

Five Children Later

Daddy drinks because I cry

Two years ago, Omega was born. Two years ago, I readied myself to never purchase a condom again. For the most part, guys don’t want anyone playing around their groin with one notable exception. Age and economics have placed us in a position of saying 5 children is enough. Don’t get me wrong. I love having a large family and would have really liked having more children (not that many). Just under two years ago, I lamented that merely $600 kept me from participating in National Vasectomy Awareness Week.

Buying Condoms With Children

The other day Cathy, Evan and I approach the checkout at the grocery store and it occurs to me that we are in no position to exercise some adult stress relief. Evan is a little wild so I take him with me as Cathy unloads the shopping cart at the register. I find where they keep the condoms and I stare into the multi-color array of pleasure choices. Ribbed for the illusion of increased stimulation. Extra-large for small egos. Coated in desensitizing lotion in case your antidepressant is not doing its job. "Anti-depressants; they make you popular!" Non-lubricated for nostalgia. Flavored because you’re fooling yourself. Twisted because we’re fooling you. Tingling because no sex is better than the kind she screams out, "it burns! it burns!" Ultra-ultra-ultra thin because you might just want another baby.

Oh. I got distracted. Where’s Evan? Oh! Screaming and bolting for the exit. I grab the least expensive 12 pack (a year’s supply) checking to make sure it doesn’t say nonoxynol-9 (which I am pretty sure doesn’t come on any condom anymore) and making sure it doesn’t say Michelin then bolt for Evan. He sees me coming, laughs, squeals, changes direction and shoots toward the lines of staring people at the checkouts. "Oh look honey! That man carrying the box of condoms is chasing the undisciplined hellion." I finally catch Evan who grabs the box of condoms and politely hands them to the cashier.

Internet Campaign to Neuter Doug

I think Evan is finally turning in his lease. Dr Snip KnifeI have a chance at a romance life again! I think perhaps it is time to walk the path some other brave men have journeyed. Time to buy a decent bottle of scotch and a bag of frozen peas. Dr. Snip here I come!

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Evening Gone Awry

Since I did not get my work finished this weekend, I did not get to take time today to fix up my bike (which looks like a pile of rust anyway). We rushed to get dinner made and for some odd reason the taquitoes didn’t cook so no one ate. We get down to the head of the bike trail at 7pm, the normal scout meeting time, and we see evidence of our Scouts but no Scouts. Obviously they met earlier. We just never saw an email. Turns out they met at 6 and rolled out at 6:15. We arrived at 6:55. We drove for 30 minutes searching the trail and finally returned to the finish line to let Noah, Amy and Evan ride the trail. We got to see a train and wave at the engineer. They had a blast and eventually the Scouts returned. Molly wrenched my arm out of socket but we also got some good sprinting in. I need more regular exercise like that. Unfortunately, I’d planned the evening to be coding. Now I’m just tired and sore.

Can I possibly correct the mistakes I have made within this lifetime?

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Egad they’re real!

Saturday night Cathy, Tommy, Evan and I decided to grab a bite to eat. And we treated ourselves to a restaurant. As we are being seated my eyes fall upon the grill that the restaurant is giving away and I drift over to it to fill out the marketing information registration as the rest of the crew move on. "It’s Doug!" I look up to see Thing 1 and Thing 2 and a nice couple, obviously their parents. Look away! Don’t make eye contact. Blast this facial/name recognition deficiency of mine. Wait. You have to look at their faces to recognize them otherwise its just bodies in clothes. Clothes! Look for clues. Well, Thing 1 and Thing 2. Pretty big clues! Tall guy. They know me. Where’s my help? Panic! Look at grill. No look for Cathy. Eh. The restaurant is a cloud of blurry people. Looks like I’m staring at the prison train from The Wall. Eeks. No help there. Clues? A theatre reference on the shirt! Thing 1, Thing 2. Suessical! It’s the Barrys!

Whew! Takes a lot of words to recall 5 seconds of one’s life. I don’t know if it is the stress of worrying that if you don’t immediately recognize someone that you will offend them or if it was all that beerdamage I did to my brain in college or if its the stress of my life in general or if I just am incapable but regardless of how well I know you there are simply times where I stare at your face and no name will come to me!

I really like seeing our online friend’s in the real world. It is nice to pretend that I have friends in the flesh for the people who read Reality Me probably know me better than people in real life and the readers probably interact with me more than people in real life. I really stay locked in the basement A LOT! We need human contact! Granted, Scouting and some of the other activities of the children have brought us out of our hermitation a bit of late. And that’s nice. Of course, I wanted to bug the Barry’s and be social but Cathy in her ever present since of prudence would not let me interrupt their dinner although I sneaked in a "good-bye" and "break a leg" despite Cathy’s protests. Barry and family, it was great seeing you guys!

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Michael Moore’s Sicko Review

A really big thank you needs to be extended to R Neal and Mrs. Neal for putting together this opportunity for the blogging community to gather.

US Canada health care comparison

The first thing that hit me was my overwhelming inability to put faces to online personages. (Sorry to anyone that I shoved the camera in your face and took a picture. I was doing what I was told “take closeup pictures” and it only occurred to me later that I could stand back and use the zoom.) Then I was hit with the nostalgia of Downtown 8. Wow! That theatre hasn’t changed in years. The lack of stadium seating and the click-click-click of non-digital projection really took me back.

I have never seen a Michael Moore film so I truly did not know what to expect. I thought this would be a dull documentary. It was a well narrated, well filmed and entertaining story. From all the controversial and negativeness I have heard, I truly expected the film to be terribly lopsided. On the contrary, I found the information well presented and it seemed very fair. Yes, perhaps the "average" family in France did not truly represent an average family but it made its point well. In January (and other times), I have read and looked into alternative ways health care is provided around the world. I am no expert but Sicko’s information seemed to match my reading.

Cathy and I are two of the 50 million uninsured Americans and we suffer because of it. The children are covered by insurance but I live under constant fear that something will happen to us before I can change our insurance situation. I personally connected with this film on several levels. I laughed. I was awed. I nearly cried. The film documented a future I fear for Cathy and myself. MM SickoBut it goes beyond us. As a cash pay in the doctor’s office, I have noted the different ways we are treated. While an insurance company may deny a procedure, cash never gets turned down; however, it gets frowned at and somehow I feel like I end up in the hands of lessor trained doctors while the insured get the cream of the crop.

Before this film came out, I felt that the health care system in America needed a dramatic change. Yes, I favor a more socialized approach. I feel that if we take care of our citizens then our citizens will take much better care of our society and we will be an even better country. I left the theatre in high spirits knowing that I am not alone in my hopes that one day we will put people’s health above profit. Even if you are a Michael Moore hater, I encourage you to see this film!

I almost took a picture of the near full theatre and could kick myself for not doing so after reading Michael Moore’s letter asking for pictures. I did a rough headcount and gather that there were between 80-100 people watching. In attendance (links to reviews/opinions in bold):

Saw the show

Did not see the show

Update: Cnn Analysis of Sicko. "numbers mostly accurate; more context needed"

As we dug deep to uncover the numbers, we found surprisingly few inaccuracies in the film.[emphasis added] In fact, most pundits or health-care experts we spoke to spent more time on errors of omission rather than disputing the actual claims in the film.
…
As Americans continue to spend $2 trillion a year on health care, everyone agrees on one point: Things need to change, and it will take more than a movie to figure out how to get there.
[Source]

CNN Reviews Sicko

In a nutshell, Moore’s argument comes down to this: the insurance companies are making a killing at their customers’ expense.
…
Having “enjoyed” first-hand experience of two of these three health systems — the British and the Canadian — I can attest that they’re not quite as idyllic as Mr. Moore paints them. Except in comparison with the U.S. system, of course, and that’s the point.[emphasis added] Moore is a master of overstatement, but his comic shtick hits the target more often than not. It only hurts when we laugh.
…
With four times as many health lobbyists as there are congressmen, and with multimillion-dollar campaign donations at stake, the prospect of universal care seems a distant hope.
…
It’s not impossible that this bitterly funny, bitterly sad call to alms could move reform back up the political agenda. For that reason alone, you owe it to yourself to see this movie. [emphasis added]
[Source]

Some doctors are for national health care: Physicians for a Nation Health Program

Update: Slate: Michael Moore and the Beige Bomber
KnoxBlab discussion
More at Knoxviews
Betsy Pickle – KNS reviewer

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Heading to Sicko tonight!

When Tommy declared, "There should be a law that you have to speak English in America." I ranted at him for half an hour. I didn’t force my view upon him rather made an effort to open his mind to another perspective. I used examples such as "if you went to Spain, you should have to speak Spanish" and he’d retort "but I am not living there" so we went through what-if scenario after scenario and using examples such as the nice people who work at CiCi’s pizza and do not speak a word of English yet they communicate with the patrons just fine. Eventually Tommy was begging to end the conversation and I released him content that maybe he’d heard something; more than likely, he will simply think twice before raising such issues in front of me again (which would be a shame).

MM Sicko

Since Tommy will vote for our next President, and since he gets plenty of far right opinion for other relatives, I felt it prudent that he and Sarah begin their political education. How fortunate that R. Neal of Knoxviews.com offered up some tickets to Michael Moore’s Sicko! I’m sure their grandfather will deprogram them afterwards. It is not the point-of-view that I want to impress upon the children as much as I want them to appreciate that there are multiple ways to see a subject, multiple solutions to a problem, and that they should try to see everything as if they were in that other person’s shoes. See you at the movie tonight!

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Action Park!

Action Park NJ Water Slide Loop

I want to know if JayMonster remembers Action Park in Vernon Township, New Jersey. Although I lived in Medford, NJ (1983-1986) while it was open, I never ventured that far north. Instead I played at Great Adventure (saw the Monkies anniversary tour there). Here’s a fantastic description of Action Park. And here are pictures of the abandonedout of season park. These comments are very interesting too!

I was a lifeguard at Action Park for a summer. We called it Traction Park, and man could I tell stories about that place. Let me just say, it is very, very difficult to rescue an obese, panicked man who just dropped acid. The scratches were incredible. Can’t wait to read the Wiki — I’d never have thought to look.

Edit: A few funny things the wiki omits (although there’s obviously nothing funny about the serious injuries and deaths).

First, a large Hassidic community was located not far from the park. For those who aren’t familiar with the sect, females are required by religious edict to wear heavy ankle-length skirts. Always. As you might imagine, this sucked for swimming, but the non-lifeguard staff, who were often fourteen, were generally responsible for letting visitors go from the tops of various cliffs and slides. They were easily bullied, and every damn time I saw a Hassidic woman at the top of the cliff jump, I knew I was going in. It was outrageous. On the speed slides, which did not have lifeguards because they lacked deep water, it was enormously entertaining to watch our insistent patrons arrive with their ankle-length skirts over their heads.

Second, the wiki forgets a “cannonball” slide that went underground, completely enclosed, and dumped patrons in a very deep pool beyond sight of the launching point. Many non-swimmers launched with no idea they’d hit deep water. Trouble is, a fourteen-year-old non-lifeguard was responsible for letting people go, and the lifeguard at the bottom was all alone. This was, by far, the most terrifying lifeguard assignment. You’d go in for one drowner (or two, as there were parallel chutes) and the nitwit up top, if he wasn’t paying attention, would drop new drowners on you. If you got in trouble, you could whistle and hope guards at the nearby Tarzan Swing would save your ass, but nearby concerts often made this improbable. I was pulled under by people on drugs (they break all the rules you’re taught about water rescue — in particular, they don’t reflexively let go if you swim down); had to pull out an entire family simultaneously; and did, of course, have to pull out the odd Hassidic woman entangled in her own skirt. The scariest thing I saw occurred in my very first week. A large man on drugs (again, you can tell b/c they don’t let go if you swim down), headlocked a female lifeguard who probably weighed 100 pounds. Three guards piled on and had to beat him repeatedly about the head with rescue rings (about the firmness of a baseball) until he let go, by which time he was unconscious and the girl he headlocked had two lungs full of water. It’s something of a miracle that the place stayed in business as long as it did.
[Source]

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Today’s Confessional – Harassment

As I child, I was taught to "never air your dirty laundry." I am certain that many people, family in particular, find it confusing that I am so willing to openly share my life with the world touching on such taboo subjects as sex, drugs, politics and religion. Why dredge up the forgotten past and mar my reputation, or future possibilities, with a permanent record of folly long forgiven? This is a good opportunity to point to the Why I Blog page.

First off, I want to say that blogging is stupid. Most bloggers, such as myself, have no journalism training. We are not professionals, are prone to errors, tempted to propagate rumor, and are busily creating a permanent record of non-retractible statements. We paint targets on ourselves and encourage friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers to make comments which, depending on our mood, may hurt our feelings or cause us to make a flippant remark in jest or anger that changes our relationship with those commenters. It is dangerous waters. [Source]

That said, I do hold back a lot that others may find interesting. I have done much in my life. I have explored. I have experimented. I have experienced. I have done good and I have done things for which I am not proud. Some of these stories, told briefly in writing and out of context, could all too easily be misconstrued. I would never want to lose friends, job opportunity, or something as important as being able to volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America over a misunderstood story. Now, for a story from my past, which I had hoped to let fade from memory and never have retold.

I love mentoring. I love leading. Years ago I was promoted to a management job. That was the greatest job! I took one last look at my swimsuit calendar and passed it onto a ex-peer. I deleted all my inappropriate jokes, sanitized my office of general offensiveness, took some leadership classes, and stepped into the position ready to be the world’s greatest manager. I planned to be friendly without overstepping bounds. I would be approachable but demanding. If the staff went to an after work gather and I were invited, I would be the last to arrive and the first to leave, if I showed at all.

One day, one of my female staff asked for a meeting with me. We made it a walking meeting since the weather was nice. She asked that I promote her into a position that didn’t exist. When I explained that I did not have hiring authority and that I definitely did not have authority to create a non-existent job, she said, "you’ll regret that" and walked away. I then spent my remaining days in that job giving HR a daily report on how this one particular employee was not being harassed, how the environment was not hostile, and answering questions about the various rumors which flew around the staff. Apparently I was having the greatest sex of my life because there weren’t many people I hadn’t slept with–if you believed the gossip. I was fortunate that HR was on my side; they had good files and we would have triumphed in a legal battle! None-the-less, it did hurt. My reputation was tarnished. Decisions had to be made on the assumption that this employee told an unproven truth. My boss was 2000 miles away receiving my stories, HR’s version, and the gossip. It detracted from the business at hand and I am certain was an underlying reason for the final closure of that division of the company.

The irony is that I saved that employee. She had come from a different division of the company which was being downsized. She was slated to be laid off. I didn’t need any additional staff. As a favor to a VP, I created an additional position for her (yes, that authority I did have) and she was transferred instead of laid off. It is from that position that she insisted I promote her. I should have promoted her. No. I should have fired her on the spot.

I may be a little jaded when it appears that someone is trying to makes gains at someone else’s expense. I don’t like win-lose. I don’t like lose-win. I like positive. I like win-win!

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Immigration Laws Keep Me Unemployed

Over the past year I made several attempts to get out of consulting and back into the corporate world. By being a consultant for a decade, I have evolved a fascinating set of skills which should make me invaluable to most tech companies. However, all interviews ended without an offer.

But immigration laws pertaining to the hiring of foreign workers in the States are tight. And firms have to prove that they can’t find anyone in their back yard to do the jobs they need to fill, before casting their gaze abroad.

This is why U.S. firms hire consultants to publish classified job ads in local U.S. papers, with goal of not finding any applicants.

[Source]

See more comments on the video.

Albeit interesting, that video and information actually has nothing to do with me failing to nail a corporate job. The jobs I missed had more to do with concerns that I could not switch from consulting back to cubeville and a couple required me to do some free work which did not fit into my schedule. Frankly, I failed to market myself well. I believe anyone with a decent skill set can find a good paying job particularly in the tech world.