It just occurred to me that I sent my little girl to school with an empty lunchbox today. Oh I’m going to get it when she comes home!
Month: March 2009
Do you dream in color?
Apparently I dream in Green. Last night, I had vivid dreams of competing with Ed Begley Jr. and Bill Nye for the most environmentally sound lifestyle. Uh, fantasy dreams? How could I possibly compete in an eco war with those two?! See Ed Begley Jr.’s FAQ.
Why yes I have heroes! And one is coming to Knoxville!
My heroes and role models center around comedians. The list of influences is huge including Red Fox, Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas…hold on…basically the SCTV and Saturday Night Live casts. I can narrow the list to four people: Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Bill Murray, and Robin Williams. When I was around twelve years old, Robin Williams got me in a bunch of trouble when I did his "moisture heat seeking missile" routine that involved a lot of pelvic gyrations for some guests my parents were entertaining. I had no idea what I was doing or saying. The guests were rolling on the floor and my father was fuming. That was my first Carlos Mencia lesson: don’t perform other people’s material.
Robin Williams is coming to Knoxville on April 11th to the Civic Auditorium! There’s even a VIP Meet & Greet package available! Well, he may be coming to Knoxville. His doctor has advised him to skip four Florida scheduled shows due to recent heart surgery.
On August 20, 2007, Williams’ elder brother, Robert Todd Williams, died of complications from heart surgery performed a month earlier. [Source, Wikipedia, Robin Williams]
I wish I was still participating in the Red Cross’ FAST program or that I could justify a ticket. Maybe Robin Williams wants to give himself an intermission during the show and would like a juggler to come on stage with him!
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 6.5: "Daddy, your belly is BIG!"
Dad: "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Amy: "I don’t know. It’s just funny looking." She then proceeds to put on some Teen Spirit deodorant that her 15.5 year old sister gave her. I’ll tell you what’s funny looking!
Technologies to come
Someone titled this "Microsoft’s Vision for 2019" I don’t know if that is true or not. What I do know is that much of what is presented in this video is already in the works. I’ve seen some of it demo’d. I know we have the technology to be deploying some of it today but necessary infrastructure improvements and profit margins stand in the way. For instance, if Nokia has a plan to release version A B C D and E of a phone there is a good chance that while were are using version A that B C D and E are in the works if not already developed. If B and E were developed at the same time Nokia could sell E but would miss out on all the profits by release B then waiting awhile to release C and awhile longer to release D and so forth. It doesn’t make fiscal sense to jump ahead. If money were not the issue and the technology improvements were solely about the advancement of society, you can bet we’d jump from A to E.
2019 is too far away. We need these technologies today! Freeze me and wake me in 100 years.
Update: Take a look at how AT&T envisioned the future back in 1993. Pretty amazingly on the nose!
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 3.5 years old: "Why da?"
Dad, proper answer: "Because ____ _ ____ ___ _ ___"
Evan: "But why da?"
Dad, similar answer with more descriptive words: "Because ____ ____ _ ____ ___ ___ _ ___ ____ and _____"
Evan: "Dad, but why?"
Dad: "Uh. Because."
Evan: "But why because?"
Dad: "I don’t know."
Evan: "But why?" "Why?" "WHY?"
Dad: *brain melts*
Evan: "Crocodiles are going to eat your feet."
Dad: "What?"
Evan: "Crocdiles going to eat your feet. Got to put your feet on the boat Dad."
Dad, places feet on the chair in front of him.
Evan: "Now crocodiles won’t get your feet."
Today’s Glorious Spam
Today I got spammed on Twitter by someone trying to get me to join a lesbian match making website. Uh. I think I fail most of the criteria. You know. Like I’m not single. Cathy and I haven’t reached the swingers or wife swapping point in our relationship yet. Oh, yeah. I don’t have a vagina!
ps. If you are going to trick me into going to an adult website, you could at least provide a thumbnail gallery! Just kidding. I’m not conservative enough for viewing porn and I don’t live in Utah. (NewScientist: Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers )
From the mouths of babes
Doug: "Did you read my post?"
Cathy: "Um. Well. It was kinda long. I scanned it."
How to become an outdoor cat
Becoming an outdoor cat is simple. Just sit on your master’s desk and when he disturbs your slumber by moving the computer mouse, draw blood by attacking his hand. Nooo! Don’t go to the "trying to save you from the mouse" defense!
Oh, whichever crazy cat person talked me into not declawing that cat, you were wrong.
The New York Times is following me on Twitter!
So I’m 1 of 992 people that The New York Times is following on Twitter! Does that make me a new source? A lead generator? Am I newsworthy?! Oh wait a minute. 992 is just under 1000 followers. Did The Grey Lady just spam me?!
N.E.W.S. times are a changin’
N.E.W.S. – Notable Experience Was Scrutinized (or Noble Elitist Writers Soapbox)
What’s new in the news now? People are all a buzz…better…people are all a twitter about the death of the newspaper business. Ironically nicknamed deadwood, the printed word is dying. Newspapers are following the slide projector. Newspapers, once the cornerstone of public opinion, are struggling to re-establish themselves, figure out how to be profitable, and not get closed down. Newspapers used to be accepted as gospel. The tone of the printed word could set public opinion and decide political careers and was regarded by the public as "fair and unbiased" when in truth the newspaper is controlled by either an editor who can influence the tone set by the paper or corporation whose agenda may side with printing the opinion or running a story with a twist that brings in the most money. Pajamas Media argues that news should not be fair and balanced. So with papers dying, where will news come from? The Associated Press says to listen to the bloggers and the social media entrepreneurs. News is turning from the professional journalists who seek it out to the amateur writer who is experiencing the news as it happens. I want papers to succeed. Without the newspaper, society will crumble! How will we train our dogs? What will childhood be like without that disgusting smell of wet flour and strips of paper for sculpting? What will our parents stare blankly at while struggling to remember if this is their first or second bowl of bran cereal for the day?
N.E.W.S. – Now Everyone Writes Something
Of Grasshoppers
Student: How will I be remembered when I am gone?
Master: You will be forgotten.
I can’t do this all on my own
Monday Morning
The kids are dragging. Elementary student has missed the bus. My breakfast is liquid, black, thick and highly caffeinated. I want to be coding..no..I want to be blogging, cleaning, organizing, budgeting AND coding. Code will win. It always gets the highest priority. Of course, I have to get the children off to school first. Ugh. I forgot to switch carpool days with the other parents. Today I drive the elementary student to school, then the high school girls to school, [update: then the middle schooler to school since he missed his bus,] then the pre-schooler to school. I’ll have worked myself into a tizzy by the time I settle at the keyboard. But I will calm, lock myself in my dungeon with loud music and the last of my incense, and code ferociously.
Life Lessons
The biggest mistake of my life was learning how to talk.
